“We all have our own personal image that’s dictated by others, one that’s always off the mark. We wish to remain true to ourselves, but who gets to decide who we are as people? When our image never goes hand in hand with reality, where can we find something genuine? Where can we find our true selves?” – Hikigaya Hachiman
Everyone who has grown up in a society is a product of their environment. According to Hachiman in Oregairu they either let the environment decide who they are or they decide their own nature based on the environment they live in. The fact remains that our circumstances and our situation is what ends up defining us as a person, but it is in our hands to decide if we are going to conform to society or create our own.
“It is better to be hated for what you are than to be loved for what you are not.”
– Hikigaya Hachiman
This is probably the simplest quote in this article, but it is also the most profound in this world of social media where has multiple personalities. Hachiman is talking about how it is better to be hated for being your own self rather than being loved for acting in front of others.
“Even if we know each other understanding each other is another matter”
Two people or two humans might know each other on a certain level. They might know who the other person is, where they go to school, and how they act in school but according to Yukinon understanding someone goes deeper than just knowing someone. The show depicts how Yukinon and Hachiman go past the understanding level and form a real bond where they both understand each other.
“It is impossible to not hurt someone. Humans unconsciously hurt others by simply existing. Whether you are alive or dead, you keep hurting people. Getting involved will hurt them but trying not to get involved might hurt them too. But if it’s someone you don’t care about; you won’t notice you’ve hurt them. What’s important is your awareness of it. It’s because you care about them, that you feel like you’ve hurt them. Caring about someone means being resolved to the fact that you’ll hurt them. ” – Shizuka Hiratsuka
The teacher in Oregairu is one of the best characters. Even though we all know she never had a real chance to win. She holds the story together she is the starting and the ending point to the whole story. Without her Hachiman and Yukinon would have never met. She provides the distinct view of an adult on the subject of relationships. We cannot make everyone happy and keep everyone safe, so focus on the ones you care for and make sure that they are happy.
“What does someone who’s lost their standing want the most? That’s simple. They want someone to find them, where they are standing.”
– Hikigaya Hachiman.
One might think that when someone is lost, we need to help them reach their path by guiding them and dragging them. But according to Hachiman what this person really needs is someone who can understand them, someone who can echo their feelings, someone who can step out of their path to help each other and find the right one together.